Females.

Females.  A strange breed of human we are.  This topic has probably been talked about, written about, thoughts about, and forgotten about more than a million times, yet, I still want to share my thoughts.  Females do stupid things at times, but stupid things because of our hearts.  We think too much because we feel so many strong emotions.  We make stupid decisions because our hearts love too much.  We even stay friends with people that are terrible influences on our lives because our hearts tell us we can change them.

I too have fallen victim to not just those things listed above, but to many other stupid decisions in my life.  I’ve dated the wrong people, I’ve befriended the wrong people, I’ve kept myself up for days thinking about things I cannot change, I’ve done almost every stupid thing that you can think a female would do.  As I move on in my life I try and stop myself from doing such stupid things, I even take more notice when friends do such stupid things.  One thing I have taught myself is that we cannot stop doing stupid things; it’s in our hearts nature to be stupid. 

Currently, I am stuck on the stupid scenario of getting married.  My boyfriend and I have been dating for just about a year.  Our relationship is not a typical relationship because we moved it along quickly.  We fell in love right away and did not give a care in the world.  If you heard this when it first happened you would think, “Wow, what a stupid girl.  She is young and naive and moving quickly into something she should not.”  I know you would have thought this because I thought it at some point.  Long story short, I feel like I have known him my entire life and am perfectly fine with that.  I know I will never love another man the way I love him and I know my life is not complete without him.  As a female we tend to want to marry the man that shows us the most attention and who we feel is the right choice.  I want to marry my man because I know we will and don’t feel like waiting.  I’m impatient.  This is stupid.

Someone I know dates a guy that is all sorts of wrong for her.  She tells herself that all the stupid things he does are not his fault and what is his fault can be excused.  I understand her thought process because I too have been in this type of “relationship” before.  It is a shitty situation that I want to shake her out of, but I cannot do that.  She will realize this, or she will learn this.  Either way it is a life lesson for her.  And if he does to turn out to be the knight in shining armor that saves the day, then hell good for her and him because they proved the rest of us wrong.

I have friends who look for love and look for guys.  You cannot do this.  I learned this a long time ago and forgot it whenever I could.  Girls have to just let the right guy find them, this is hard to get into our hearts.  Yes, our hearts need to understand this because the heart is the one telling our minds what we want.  If our hearts would listen to our minds sometimes we might be smarter beings.

I know I focused this on love and relationships but for now that’s all I want to touch on.  Love is a big part of my life and I have seemed to center my entire life around finding love.  Well, now that I have, I want to learn about love.  Not just my own love, but I want to watch others love or “love” and learn from it.  I want to understand why females make the decisions and mistakes they do so that I can one day impart my knowledge on my one day daughter so that she can ignore it the way I did when I was growing up.

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Myself

So just as a premise for where I am in my life.  I work at a school where it is in only students with Autism, I have working on my masters in Special Education/Literacy (except I am taking some time off), I am in a very happy relationship with my boyfriend whom I love very much and who loves me very much, and we have a dog named Duncan.  I live in an area I did not grow up in, and I am meeting new people and making new friends who I can honestly see being in my life for a long time.  I may have lost many of the friends I had in the past few years, but I am okay with that and do not need to be surrounded by a lot of people.  I am very open about my life and will answer questions that anyone asks about it, within a certain range.

I don’t know what else to write right now really but I can also add more and add more posts later.

First Post

So this is my first blog post.  I decided to write about my life and experiences.  I don’t know that they are interesting to anyone or if they are relevant to anything in life, or if anyone will even read this.  I am embarking on a great journey in my life and just want a place to write my thoughts so that I can remember them.